


Hobbits are Private Creatures

by Spiderlass



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Frotting, He really didn't need to see Thorin half-naked, Hints of Alternate Universe- Everyone Lives, In which Bilbo just wanted to bathe in private, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 12:04:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1898313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiderlass/pseuds/Spiderlass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo just wanted to take a bath in private. He really didn't need to see the object of his (really stupid) affections half-naked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hobbits are Private Creatures

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Fourth of July! Have some generic (probably done to death) smut.  
> (Also this is like the third time I've tried to post this)

Bilbo looked around cautiously as he crept through the sleeping camp around him, careful not to step on anyone's hair or beard, or worse, their body.

He cared for the dwarves, he really did, but he was still a hobbit, and there were many things he valued that they seemed not to, such as privacy, specifically while bathing. They seemed perfectly content to strip down to their nethers and hop right into whatever river or lake they came upon to wash off the various disgusting things that covered every inch of them. Bilbo, on the other hand, hadn't been able to bathe since Rivendell, mostly because nearly every time they'd stopped, he'd been so exhausted that he'd passed out before he could even _begin_ to think about bathing. His own modesty was also a factor; he couldn't even remember who the last person to see him nude was, it had been so long!

Of course, there was _another_ reason that the hobbit hesitated to bathe with the dwarves.

A reason that had blue eyes, long, dark hair streaked with silver, strong, defined features, a powerful presence, and just the barest hint of powerful muscles rippling beneath heavy clothes-

Bilbo muffled a groan, feeling a familiar ache in his lower regions as he stripped down.

How was it that he'd managed to become so... so... so _enamored_ with Thorin? It had been barely a week since Thorin had shown any sort of sign that he didn’t despise the hobbit, since that hug that had been so warm and encompassing, since he had said that he had been wrong about their burglar.

Yet Bilbo knew that he had fallen for the dwarf king long before that, had probably had this stupid little _crush_ on him since the moment he walked into his smial.

Bilbo sighed as he slowly waded into the lake. He ducked his head under the water, getting his hair nice and wet, and hopefully free of most of the dirt he’d been covered in. The water was cool on his skin, making him shiver a bit but also feeling nice after a long day of traveling and sweating.

Suddenly, the hobbit heard a rustling noise, ducking down into the water up to his waist on instinct.

“Who’s there-?!” He cried just as the intruder walked out into the open, looking just as surprised as Bilbo felt.

“T... Thorin?”

“... Master Baggins.” The dwarven monarch said evenly, seeming not to notice the fact that he was staring right at a very naked, very wet, very _red-faced_ hobbit.

While not wearing a shirt.

Bilbo swallowed hard, trying not to let his eyes wander down Thorin’s body, to notice the slightly scarred broad shoulders, the chest that was covered by hair, the defined abdominals, the tiny trail of dark hair that started just under his belly button and lead down to-

The hobbit sank down even more, feeling himself growing hard despite the cold water around him.

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit. SHIT._

Thorin cleared his throat, looking away from Bilbo, and if he didn’t know better he would have said that the King Under the Mountain was _blushing._

“I... I, um... I didn’t realize that anyone else was still awake.”

“O-Oh, well, um... me, me neither, I... That’s, um, sort of why I came out here.” _That, and I can’t bathe with you and the others because of you and your damnable gorgeousness._

Thorin shifted awkwardly, still not looking at Bilbo. “W... Will you be done soon?”

“... Uh... Probably not, you... you might just want to find another spot.”

“Ah, well, alright then.” The King Under the Mountain turned away almost mechanically. “Goodnight, then, Mr. Baggins.”

“G... Goodnight, Thorin.”

For a moment, the dwarf was still, seeming as though he was thinking, before returning down the path to the campsite.

The moment he was absolutely _sure_ that Thorin was out of earshot, Bilbo waded back over to the beach, sitting down on the muddy shore and running his hand over his half-hard cock. He hadn’t had the urge to do this in _so_ long, but the moment Thorin came into his life, it was like he was a hormonal teenager again, getting flustered by just about anything and everything to do with the object of his affections.

And he hadn’t been _alone_ since this trip began, either! There was always someone _there,_ Thorin, Bofur, one of the other dwarves, Gandalf- he was on the verge of going _mad_ from all the frustration he was going through!

Eru help him, he _needed_ this _so_ badly, so fuck it all.

Bilbo bit his lip as he ran his thumb over the tip of his cock and pumped his hand. The thought of it being Thorin’s hand on him instead of his own made a moan bubble up, his free hand digging into the sand.

What would Thorin’s hands feel like? He had been a blacksmith, Bilbo knew that, so his hands had to be strong, perhaps a little rough, but damned if the hobbit didn’t want them all over his body. Thorin had such big fingers...

Fingers... the thought of Thorin fingers _in_ him crossed Bilbo’s mind, making him cry out and his prick throb. The King Under the Mountain teasing him as he hooked his fingers inside of him, making him cry out as he touched that _spot_ , that lovely, elusive area that Bilbo had only found a few times inside of himself when he had dared to look-

The hobbit let out a rather nasty curse. What he wouldn’t have done for a little oil!

A new image, unbidden, came into his mind, of Thorin telling him to spread his legs, of the dwarf pushing in and pulling out of him over and over, driving him _mad_ , pushing him closer and closer to the brink, making him _scream_ -

“T-Tho-!” Bilbo groaned, digging his fingernails into the ground, feeling so _close,_ so very, _very close_ , just a little more-!

“Thorin! Thorin, oh, _Eru_ , Thorin!” He called out into the night, feeling his whole being tense as orgasm ripped through him, white strips spilling over his fist and into the water in front of him. He shuddered, gasping for breath as pure pleasure started to fade into a warm, tingling buzz throughout his body.

He felt a bit dizzy when he came back down from the high, hunching over a bit and washing off one of his hands.

He did feel a little better now.

But not much.

 _Guess I should just resign myself to the fact that I’m going to be perpetually frustrated during this journey_ , he thought glumly, staring out over the lake.

“... M... Master... Baggins?”

The hobbit froze, his blood turning as cold as the water, and for a moment he could have sworn that his heart actually stopped beating.

_Oh, sweet Yavanna, please tell me that I’m just imagining that voice and when I turn around I’ll be all alone._

“Master Baggins?”

Finally, Bilbo couldn’t take it anymore, whirling around and looking at the intruder. There was Thorin once again, this time holding his shirt in his (still naked) arms, staring right at Bilbo in all his nude glory.

Blood roared in his ears, the hobbit’s face burning with shame as he turned away from Thorin and scrambled to get back into the water.

“W... Wait...” He heard Thorin say distantly.

Bilbo ducked into the water up to his shoulders, wishing that perhaps Yavanna might have mercy on him and let him be swallowed up by a giant fish.

Of _course_ this would happen to him. Of _course_ he would get caught the very first time in _years_ he’d done this. Of _course_ he would get caught calling Thorin’s name while self-completing by _Thorin_.

Just his luck.

Suddenly, Bilbo felt a hand on his shoulder, making him whirl around and stare up at the other person with wide eyes.

Thorin swallowed hard, a rather distinct flush on his cheeks.

“B... Bilbo?”

“... I...” He tried, his throat feeling dry as a desert. His tongue felt like it was too big for his mouth, and Thorin was far too close to him, far too wet, far too...

The hobbit blinked, glancing down furtively and biting back a moan.

Great. Now Thorin was _completely_ naked. For some reason.

Bilbo looked away, trying not to notice the fact that he was getting turned on yet again.

“I... I, um... I...” He swallowed hard, turning away from Thorin. “Sorry.”

The King Under the Mountain was silent, and suddenly Bilbo heard a splash. He turned, blinking when he saw the empty space where Thorin had been. Suddenly, he felt a pair of hands under his arms, letting out a humiliating squeak when he was lifted up to only being waist-deep in the water.

“T... Thorin!” He managed, trying very hard to look cross with the dwarf before noticing the look on his face. The flush on his face had grown a bit, and those bright blue eyes were almost _black_ from how dilated his pupils were.

For a moment, they were both silent, the sound of droplets falling off of them and back into the lake the only noise.

“Are...” Bilbo stared to ask, sure that he resembled one of his neighbor’s tomatoes. “Are you going to do anything? T... To me, I mean?”

“... What would you have me do?”

The huskiness of Thorin’s voice sent a shiver down the hobbit’s spine. “U-Uh... well... I, I um, I... I suppose you would yell at me, or expose what I did to everyone else, or, um, something?” He flushed, looking away. “I, I actually, um, don’t really know what is supposed to happen now. I’ve never... never been in this situation before.”

“Nor have I, though do know... what I would _like_ to do.”

Bilbo swallowed, bracing himself for angry words or a blow, or something.

He was surprised, then, to have his chin tilted upward by a rough-skinned hand, his eyes going wider than the plates he’d been terrified the dwarves would break when Thorin pressed his lips against his gently. It was barely a kiss, so chaste and light, and yet it was warm, so warm and sweet. Bilbo’s eyes fluttered closed, the hobbit pressing up against Thorin and wrapping his arms around his neck, a little amused by the fact that he had to stand on his tip toes for it.

Suddenly, Thorin broke the kiss, making Bilbo whine in displeasure.

“No...” He protested, trying to kiss the dwarven monarch once more.

Thorin chuckled, moving to kiss Bilbo’s cheek. “Greedy, aren’t we?”

“‘S not greedy, I’ve wanted you since you first walked into my door, now get back down here!”

The dwarf looked at him, surprise in his eyes. “You... you _have?_ ”

Bilbo froze, cheeks going even redder when he realized what he had just admitted. “W-Well, I, um, I... er... yes?”

To his surprise, Thorin grinned, kissing Bilbo firmly. The hobbit moaned a bit into his mouth, holding onto him tightly, slowly running his hand through the damp, long locks.

“Thorin...” He whispered breathlessly against Thorin’s lips. “Thorin, Thorin...”

“Mmph...” The dwarf replied, moving to kiss Bilbo’s ear, which elicited a _delightful_ little squeak from the burglar. “Ah, _Ghivashel_ -!”

The hobbit froze, pushing Thorin away.

“What?” He asked, hurt bubbling up inside of him.

Thorin gave him a curious, concerned look. “Is... Is something the matter?”

Bilbo swallowed hard, forcing himself to glare up at the dwarf. “H... How _dare_ you.”

The monarch looked completely surprised by the sudden anger in the burglar’s voice. “Did... I do something wrong?”

“Wh- Yes, you- Look here, Mister... Mister King Under the Mountain! I don’t care if you _are_ royalty, you do not get to _use_ me!”

Thorin looked stricken. “What? Bilbo, what in Mahal’s name are you _talking_ about?”

“Wh... What you just said!” The hobbit yelled, blinking back tears. “If... If you want this- this _Ghivashel_ person so badly, then you can just wait and have them once you’ve gotten your bloody mountain back, because I _refuse_ to be a substitute!”

For a moment, Thorin was absolutely silent, staring at Bilbo with wide eyes. Then, to the burglar’s shock, the dwarf actually started _laughing_ , nearly doubling over as he roared mirthfully.

“Wh- It’s _not_ funny!” Bilbo yelled, face red with indignation. “You- you can’t just _use_ people how you please, Thorin! We aren’t tools in a forge!”

Suddenly, the hobbit found himself in Thorin’s arms once again, the monarch still chuckling in his ear.

“Ah, forgive me, Bilbo. For a moment, I forgot that you do not know Khuzdul.”

Bilbo blinked. “Wh... What does _that_ have to do with anything?”

Thorin smiled at him, resting his forehead against the burglar’s. “Bilbo, _Ghivashel_ is indeed a name, but it belongs to no one but _you._ One would use it as a term of endearment, such as you would use ‘darling’ or ‘love’.”

The hobbit blinked, looking up into Thorin’s eyes. “R... Really?” He asked breathlessly, his eyes wide.

“Yes, really. I desire no one but you, my hobbit.”

Normally, he would have protested at being called _anyone’s_ hobbit, but when Thorin said it, it simply felt too right to dispute.

“... What does it mean? _Ghivashel,_ that is.”

The King Under the Mountain smiled, pressing a kiss to Bilbo’s lips. “Treasure. It means treasure.”

Bilbo grinned against Thorin’s lips, wrapping his arms around his lover’s neck once more. He could feel the dwarf’s hands trailing down his back, letting out a squeak when he felt his rump get squeezed.

“T-Thorin!” He whined, biting back a whimper as the monarch chuckled.

“Do not be so shy, burglar. You may feel me as well, if you like.”

Bilbo flushed, sputtering uselessly for a moment. “I- you- my-!”

Thorin smiled, kissing him deeply as he hooked his hands beneath the hobbit’s backside and lifted him up.

“Wh- Hey! What are you-?!”

The dwarf chuckled once more as he carried Bilbo out of the water, walking over towards the shore of the lake.

“I am simply trying to make things a bit easier for us.”

Bilbo stared at him as Thorin set him down on the sand, keeping his legs firmly closed.

“Um... I... I don’t have any oil, or anything...”

“Nor do I, but that doesn’t mean we can’t take care of each other. Could you open your legs please?”

The hobbit swallowed, parting his calves but keeping his thighs together. “Thorin, I’m sorry, I do _want_ to- _so_ badly- but without oil, it’ll be _really_ painful.”

The dwarf frowned. “Yes, I’m aware. That’s... that’s why we aren’t doing that.”

Bilbo blinked, confused. “Wh... Um. Then, um, what... what did you have in mind?”

“Open your legs and I’ll show you.”

Still wary, the burglar slowly spread his thighs, watching as Thorin’s eyes trailed downward, taking in all of Bilbo’s body, seeming to fixate on his torso, which was round and had rolls and the most stubborn stretch marks that never seemed to go away no matter what he did.

“... Th... Thorin?” Bilbo finally asked for a minute, feeling as though he was under a microscope.

The dwarf looked up, his face seeming even redder than before. “Uh...?”

The burglar shifted his hips, sitting up a bit. “I... I realize that I don’t have the most... _attractive_ body in all of Middle Earth, but... could you perhaps not stare so much?”

“... What?” Thorin asked flatly, a look of disbelief on his face.

“W-Well, I mean, I know that I’m a bit _fat_ \- not, not as fat as, say, _Bombur_ \- but I, um, don’t really thinks that warrants the judging-!”

Suddenly, Thorin leaned down, pressing a kiss to Bilbo’s stomach. The hobbit let out a surprised squeak, clenching his toes as the dwarf caressed his every curve, every plump bit of his body except for where he longed to be touched most.

“I was not _judging, Ghivashel_ , I was _admiring_ you.”

“Ad... Admiring? Me? You?” Bilbo asked incredulously. “Wh... Why in Yavanna’s naammmmeee-?!”

Bilbo cried out as Thorin moved to kiss the tip of his cock, his back arching a bit.

“Do you honestly not... not know? How attractive I find you? Mahal’s _beard_ , burglar, you _amaze_ me.”

“Wh... What?” Bilbo managed as Thorin finally- _finally_ \- took him in hand, rubbing the hobbit’s prick gently. “You... You find _me_ attractive?”

The dwarf chuckled lowly, which sent a shiver down the hobbit’s spine. He moved so that he was above Bilbo, pressing his forehead against the hobbit’s.

“Yes, Bilbo, I do. I have since we met. It took all of my strength to not carry off to your bedroom then and there.”

The burglar flushed, grabbing Thorin’s jaw and kissing him deeply, desperately. Suddenly, Thorin’s hand was gone, Bilbo scarcely having time to whine in displeasure when he felt something new, something _bigger_ rubbing up against his cock.

 _Oh. Oh, sweet Eru, Yavanna, and whoever the hell else, he’s_ big.

“Are you alright, my hobbit?” Thorin whispered, seeming not notice how much he had managed to fluster Bilbo.

“I... you...” He bit his lip, looking up into the dwarf’s eyes. “You’re _big_.”

That seemed to catch the monarch by surprise. “... I am not.”

“Wh- You are so!”

“Bilbo, I’m rather average by dwarven standards.”

The hobbit decided then and there that he had no desire to see what _big_ was by dwarven standards.

“Well,” He started, keeping his voice low. “By _hobbit_ standards, you’re _quite_ big.”

Part of him _relished_ the look on Thorin’s face when he said that, the moan that the dwarf couldn’t seem to keep down. He felt Thorin’s cock twitch against his, making a small groan bubble up in his own throat.

“Mahal’s _beard,_ Bilbo,” The monarch whispered breathlessly, kissing the hobbit hard as he rubbed against him desperately.

Bilbo keened, wrapping his arms and legs around his lover. He buried his fingers in the dark locks, pressing a kiss to the dwarf’s neck. Thorin muttered something in Khuzdul, Bilbo guessing from his tone that it was some sort of curse. He bit his lip, jerking his hips forward a bit.

“T... Thorin...”  He whimpered, feeling himself inch closer and closer to the edge of pure bliss. “Thorin, I... I’m getting close, please, more, I need more, _please_ -!”

A hand wrapped around their cocks, Bilbo groaning at the feeling of rough skin on his prick. His heart was racing wildly, pressure building inside of him as Thorin rubbed them both.

Thorin kissed him once more, and with another couple of strokes it was all over, Bilbo crying Thorin’s name as he came for the second time that night, Thorin following closely after.

The two of them laid still for a moment, trying to catch their breaths.

“That...” Bilbo managed after a moment. “That was _amazing._ ”

Thorin smiled, kissing Bilbo once more as he got off of him. He held his hand out as he stood up.

“Come on, then. I think it’s time for a _proper_ bath.”

\------------------------

The next morning, everyone awoke to the sound of Gloin cheering happily.

When they saw Thorin and Bilbo (thankfully clothed) curled around each other and fast asleep, half the camp joined him, and the other half, who had lost the betting pool as to whether or not Thorin and Bilbo would ever admit their completely obvious feelings for the other, cried out in despair.

The King Under the Mountain and the burglar, of course, remained oblivious to this occurrence, as they both were fast asleep until well into the morning. In fact, it wasn’t until years later, long after Erebor was retaken and Bilbo had become Consort Under the Mountain that they found out about the bet at all.

Luckily for them, they both found it quite amusing.

 


End file.
